My take on Passive Voice.

I use passive voice in dialogue all the time. It’s how people talk. Narrating the story however, it depends.

I wrote, 1: “Later, Gero and Dr. Tabib discussed what could be done for his control implants.” The keywords here are, (be done.)

It’s introducing a conversation at the beginning of a scene, and I think it is okay for it to be in passive voice.

I wrote, 1: “Seeing the ship being identified as the Rook #36, the Polis knew right away who’s ship it was.” Keywords, (being identified.) The word (was) is fine, though I did remove it to make a better sentence.

I rewrote it as, 2: “Identifying the ship as the Rook #36, the Polis knew right away who’s ship had come through.”

I see the second sentence as a better sentence. Here are some standard examples.

1: was breathing.

Change (was) + ing word to one ending in ed.

2: breathed.

1: He was singing

2: He sang.

Words to keep an eye out for, (am, are, being, had been, has been, have been, is, was, were, will be, will have been).

1: Mom, who had been using her bow to shoot targets, tired out her arms. This one with (had been) does not flow so great.

2: Mom’s arms got tired shooting targets with her bow.

1: She had been gone a long time, and everyone worried for her safety.

I have no idea how to rewrite that sentence to improve it. It works perfectly well for me. It could be written out as a scene; show don’t tell if there was a point to showing it in the story. As in, people pacing about and checking the time, etc.

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